The fact that there’s over 7.2 billion people in the world and not even one of them is taking one for the team by dating me is extremely unacceptable
- Facebook: I don't know who you are, don't fucking add me.
- Tumblr: Ew, I know you; fuck off. STRANGERS WELCOME, COME TALK TO ME.
- fanfic: *passionate kissing*
- me: omg they gonna have sex
- fanfic: *they go to the bed*
- me: omg this is it
- fanfic: THE NEXT MORNING
- me: ...
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